This morning, as I was reading the paper over a bowl of what looked like seeds and twigs, I came across an article about a father and son sentenced to several years in prison for 'looting' their communications business.  This comes on the heels of another case where a son and his mother were involved in a local bank robbery.  In another case farther away a man was arrested for growing marijuana in his granny's garden; apparently she was not in cahoots, having been told by her grandson that he was growing tomatoes.  And we thought our families were dysfunctional!

 

Our Lord talks about the family in the Gospel, and I am sure that not a few of you are shaken by Jesus' insistence that we must love Him more than our own parents and children.  How hard to comprehend!  Our children are so present, so there, in a way that Jesus is not.  How do we begin to understand what appears to our ears as a 'hard saying'?

 

Note, first, that this teaching is addressed to Jesus' apostles.  They have daily intimacy with Him, eat with Him, observe His prayer and His miracles.  They have reached the place in their lives where, if not with Jesus, there is no place else to go.  They are not perfect, will eventually abandon Him, but they are His friends.  They have left their families and their jobs to follow Him.  They know Him.

 

When we know Jesus like this--not because we were born into a Catholic family or went to a parochial school or are, as has been described 'cultural Catholics'--this affects all our relationships, including those in our families.  A couple of years ago, invited to speak at a graduation Mass, I asked the parents present whether, if they had to choose only one, they would choose for their child to be good  or successful, which they would choose. 

 

I did not ask for a show of hands for these two choices.  But our Lord says that those who, in their heart of hearts, choose successful, are creating in their families a snare of evil, not a seedbed of holiness.  One does not have to watch Godfather I, II, & III to believe this.  [Actually, Coppola's vision is fairly Christian: having 'found' their lives, refusing to lose them for Christ, the Corleones end up losing everything truly valuable.]  People who know Jesus would find it difficult [though not impossible] to choose success without Him rather than goodness with Him.

 

In both the good and bad sense, families are infectious.  One person gets a cold, everyone develops one.  In those families where prayer, worship and the desirability of living a good life are central--where people know Jesus--it is easier to be good.  Something strange that I have noted lately is how parents can be scandalized by their children.  Noting that their children, having little formation in faith, have fallen away from the Mass and sacraments as they get older, parents stop practicing as well.  The same is true when a child or even grandchild is deeply converted; suddenly, parents and grandparents take another look at the Faith.  The 'infection' can travel in two directions.

 

You have heard or read me when I quote the British Benedictine, Fr. Sebastian Moore: God is either very, very important or He is not important at all.  Where does one first discover this truth?  As the Gospel proclaims, the family.

 

 

UPDATE: The closest experience to my current recuperation is having hepatitis when I was in mid-twenties.  Both struggles have fatigue at their center and are difficult to negotiate.  I can recall clinging to my mailbox, unable to walk back to the house when I had hepatitis.  Now I can start off a day, feeling like this is 'all behind me' and be literally flattened for the rest of the afternoon.  One last thing: as a sign of my condition, I have elected to grow a mustache and beard.  When I have completely gotten well, it will come off.  But until then, you will be amazed to see my many white hairs!